FAIL

The weather is getting warmer; spring break has drawn to a close; and Study Buddy wants to get adventurous in our sex life. Part of our adventure was being more aggressive with each other. But as you probably guessed from the title, something went wrong and I have acquired my very first sex injury. FAIL.

It started out like any other night. He walked me to his dorm, signed me in, and we took the elevator up to the 8th floor. Our clothes came off, and we proceeded as usual. The problem started when we tried new things…one position in particular—Doggy Style.

It was great, while we were in it, but we decided to switch into another position and in the midst of our switch, he pushed me forward a little bit. Because he was still in the aggressive mind frame, he pushed me a little too hard and I kept moving forward till my head collided with the bed frame. Like I said, FAIL.

It would have been one thing if I had silently bumped my head and been able to laugh it off, but when my head made contact with that wooden frame there was an audible SMACK. And it hurt like a motherfucker. Obviously this whole thing was an accident, and Study Buddy was very apologetic and proceeded to kiss my forehead to make it feel better. I, however, in my tired and injured state, was pissed off and proceeded to berate him for his error.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, are you okay?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? That hurt like hell. Now I’m gonna have a fucking bump on my head”

“It was an accident, I’m really sorry”

“WELL HAD YOU NOT BEEN USING MY VAGINA LIKE A SLAP CHOP THIS WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED!!!!”

“Wait, what’s a Slap Chop?”

Like I said, FAIL.

- BC ’15

Sex, Pornography, and Art: Egon Schiele

When you ascend the stairs at the Neue Gallerie, turn left and make your way back to the dimly lit, far room. It is a sepia world from long ago.  Egon Schiele would have intended it that way.

The far wall is tiled with simply framed drawings of identical dimensions.   Each is a figure drawing, slightly distorted and grotesque, haunting in a dream-like manner.  With his self-portraits, Schiele transforms himself into a martyr figure.  He depicts himself without limbs, his form contorted at strange angles, and his gaze confronting the viewer.  It seems that he wants to be liberated, but cannot as he is not one of the masses.  His form floats in the white space, without any bearing on his surroundings.

Egon Schiele was considered Gustav Klimt’s protégé and was an early member of the Expressionists.  He grappled intensely with sexuality, and his detailed grotesque, raw compositions even put him in jail.  He was arrested for pornographic images and convicted for having pornography in view of children.

Not exactly the best track record, but he was an incredibly prolific artist, and his studio was a haven for the delinquent children.  So, maybe it was just all a misunderstanding.

Was he simply a misunderstood artist – full of angst and emotion?  Was his work an expression of his sexuality, perhaps his homosexuality as historians allege?  Or, was he just a pervert with a creative bent?

female, SEAS ’12

 

For more information, click here.

Love is…

This post was intended to be a “what Valentine’s Day means to each of our e-board members” thing.  It was going to be very stupid. Yes, to all of us, it’s about love in its different variations, (self, familial, companionate, and romantic) celebrated with dinner, flowers, candy, candles, and/or sex.

Alternatively, this will not tell you how to turn up the heat in the bedroom after you’ve gorged yourself on candy, steak, and wine (whether with company or alone).

Instead, I want to talk about love from my singular, possibly delusional, perspective. Bear with me.

While I am not any of the Valentine’s Day stereotypes—madly in love; defensively happy and single; or depressed—I do tend on every other day of the year to be a skeptic of love. I used to think I didn’t believe in it at all, but now I blame the overuse of the word.

What other people call “falling in love” is what I call “falling in like.” It happens after you’ve spent enough time with someone; or when you first meet them and you have sooo many things in common; or even when that person is your friend and you have sex with them and start to have feelings.

That, to me, is not love. And maybe “like” is too mild a word. But, it’s not Love.

Now, I subscribe to a definition of romantic Love that is absurdly, dare I say, romanticized, seemingly contrary to my personality, and in some ways still an impossibly unsatisfying way to see it.

I know it’s cheating, but this quote from Everything is Illuminated does a wonderful job of explaining the phenomenon:

…“I love you” also means “I love you more than anyone loves you, or has loved you, or will love you,” and also, “I love you in a way that I love no one else, and never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone else.” …that it is, by love’s definition, impossible to love two people.”

This ideation causes some problems. It forces every burst of love to be viewed as something else, perhaps something less, but definitely something different. It also demands a completeness, absoluteness, and uniqueness to the relationship one has to a person that almost no one can guarantee until it’s lost. It changes the circumstances and the consequences when one believes in Love in this way.

So, to me, Love exists, but not in the way we pretend it does.

And while this seems wildly counterintuitive, I think that’s why I have no problem with Valentine’s Day remaining about candy, dinner, flowers, and absurd gestures of romance.

It would be exhausting to celebrate Love every day of the year. But we can take the time on this day, February 14, and cherish the idea of Love, to acknowledge Love’s entirety and power and to appreciate those who you love, in platonic, companionate, and familial ways. And, if you have a Valentine, celebrating the time you’re spending together and the possibility or presence of Love.

V-Day is about the possibility and risk. It always has been, even, if not especially, in elementary school. And if candy and alcohol are the only gestures we have, then let’s just enjoy it.

Leena Charlton
editor-in-chief

Five Things I Want to Do (more) in My Sex Life:

1) Role-playing: sex worker and client; two strangers lock eyes across a crowded bar; patient and nurse, TA and student; Sailor Moon?

2) Light BDSM: handcuffs, ropes, spanking, blindfolds, maybe some choking, but nothing too dangerous.

3) Public and/or forbidden sex: I had sex once at a bar, and I want more! Ideal places include: the park, Butler Stacks, my living room, or an empty classroom.

4) More Afternoon delights: I’m not in a relationship so sex, although with the same person, is often late at night and drunk. Can’t we just fuck at lunchtime, between classes, or all day Friday?

5) Foreplay: making out, necking, dry humping, caressing, biting. I want to be teased until I’m begging for it. In my opinion, the Slow Reveal is a good indicator of how long it should last. Each article of clothing comes off in turn—jackets, shirts, then bra, then pants, then underwear—and each area is properly attended to before the next item comes off.

Female, CC ‘12

Pondering Condom-less Sex

Last weekend when I was lying next to my partner in bed, he told me that I was the only person that he had hooked up with in a long time. I told him the same was true for me, and he suggested that since we were “practically monogamous,” we could consider having sex without a condom.

My immediate reaction was “HELL TO THE NO!” Like any other modern, sexually active woman I know that condoms protect against STDs and solely taking birth control does not. We are also in a “practically monogamous” relationship, not a “committed monogamous” relationship, which means that if the opportunity presented itself, either of us could have sex with another person. And frankly, sex without a condom scares me.

Maybe it’s the fact that I have grown up being lectured by my parents, my aunts, my grandparents, and any other opinionated adult who has ever had sex. (Side note: The former list includes two physicians, an OB/GYN, a midwife, a nurse, and a teenage mother.) I am by no means ignorant to the consequences of condom-less sex, but I’ll admit being a champion at taking my birth control on time every day makes me less concerned about pregnancy. I have a serious personal dilemma now – to use the condom or to not use the condom.

Keeping in mind my own personal values, I decided to make a checklist of tasks we both must complete before considering it.

1. Get tested. And I mean the works, from Chlamydia to herpes to HIV, and everything in between. While some might moan and groan about the discomfort of getting blood drawn or peeing in a cup, I can guarantee that genital warts are worse.

2. Respect. Before our conversation last night, my hook up was fairly casual, I didn’t really mind if he blew me off, and he didn’t really mind when I did the same to him. What I realized, though, is that our lack of consideration for each other’s time could turn into a lack of respect. At the end of the day, we are friends who also have sex and should treat each other with all the respect of friends rather than that of prostitutes/gigolos.

3. Ground Rules. Sex without a condom seems to be a bigger deal for me than for him, and this why we are making ground rules. These consist of how we are going to go about the relationship, in essence the parameters of our “practical monogamy.”

4. Dates. I know this last part may sound cheesy, but if I am going to let this guy into my life in such a way, I know that I can’t be super casual about it. I want to get to know him better as a person and he wants to do the same for me. Hanging out without having sex is important to me, so we are going to work on it.

Sex without a condom is a big step for me, but I am trying to keep an open mind. Part of the reason I’m doing this is because the conversation my partner and I had was very honest and he never pressured me. When it comes to your own relationship, my advice would be to stay true to your values, but also listen to what your partner wants and try to figure out if there is a way to compromise.

Barnard ‘15

Our Latest Endeavor

Over the past two semesters, The Morningside After has slowly but surely gotten itself off the ground.

We just published our second print issue, got our Facebook up-and-running, and are planning our next party, photo shoot, and Spring 2012 issue. It’s a lot to do, but we don’t want to leave our readers without something to get them through the lonely months.

So, we’ve taken on blogging as our newest hobby. We’ll be publishing blog posts from your fellow students, and giving you a chance to comment and ask questions.

The more topics, the more discussion, the more feedback, the better.

Accepting Applications!

This semester will be the last one for this executive board, and we’re hoping to leave Columbia with a energetic and creative new board waiting to take the reigns.

If you think this could be you, apply today!